... and person.
Have you ever had one of those days where you think: "Dang. People are multifaceted." I think I am always blown away by the ways that I even surprise myself. Some days, I just want to live in nature and chill and go barefoot. And other days I want to wear perfume and eyeliner and boots that go over my knees and do my hair with chemicals and heat. And some days, I am very aware of all the ways I am a Kansas Citian or the ways that going to college in Iowa shaped me to that context.
Some days, like today, I feel very Spanish. I'm not really sure why this is. I will say that when I feel Spanish, I am more likely to wear knee-high boots and eyeliner than go barefoot and wash my hair with baking soda. Not always though. There are certainly hippies in Spain. I think some of it is that I mailed a birthday package to Faby, my Spanish housemate, today. I emailed my friend Olíva. I chatted online with mi Ana B. I listened to my DELE exam prep CDs and actually laughed really hard at one of the interviews. DELE is like the Spanish equivalent of the TOEFL exam. I've flirted with the idea of taking it several times, but never felt the need to prove my Spanish to anyone except myself, and that's not enough motivation for me to pay more than $100 and travel to Chicago.
Anyway, I think I'd like to write a letter to la península ibérica: (In Spanish, obviously. And really cheesy. Spanish doesn´t sound cliched to me, so I´m going to be as romantic with my language as possible. After all, Spanish is a romance language!)
Mi querida España,
Hoy te llevo muy cerquita del corazón. No te preocupes. Ya pronto, volveré a tus costas de luz. Ahora me quedo acá, separado de ti por medio de un continente y el mar. Sin embargo, estás conmigo. Siempre llevo una gítana dentro, tu música es mi música, aunque nadie más entienda como me encuentro cuando escucho una canción flamenca o de Los Delincuentes, no importa. Me has cambiado, España, y sigo mareada por las experiencias que tuve dentro de tus fronteras. Aprendí qué es el mar, el sol, el dolor, y el amor. Aprendí lo que es decir ´no´cuando ya no aguantas más, o sencillamente cuando no quieres. Y mientras quiero presentarte a mi familia, a mis amigos, y a todos que son parte de mi vida, sé que es imposible. Nadie más vivió lo que viví yo. Y ahora es imposible robarme de esas experiencias.
No sé porque la vida es así. ¿Por qué es imposible que compartamos todo?
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