To my mom, on Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

I saw this quote this morning on Facebook and it expressed something that I've felt for a long time. And when I learned that the daughter of the mother-daughter duo who founded Mother's day thought it was very silly for children to sign their name to a card with someone else's sentiments, I knew that I wanted to write this for you, to tell you about this.

When I am rolling out pie or cookie dough, it is as if I am rolling the dough, but behind me is you, and your hands are also rolling out the dough. And behind you is Grandma, and her hands are also rolling out the dough, and behind her is Grandma King, and her hands are also reaching through time and we are all rolling out the dough together.

But it's not just the rolling pin. It happens when I am cutting rhubarb in your yard that came from Grandma's house and before that was planted at Great-Grandma King's house, or when I am folding napkins for a dinner party, or when I am cutting flowers from my yard.

And when our car pulled over on the side of a winding mountain road in the Dominican Republic at a roadside flower stand, you were there, in me, as I identified hydrangeas, petunias, snowball bushes and more. Or when I was in the hotel in Nairobi, and they had a fuchsia bush-lined path to the patio, our feet walked it together.

The first time my friend came over and was upset about something so far outside of the scope of my experience, we all sat together; and I watched you. I learned one of the most valuable lessons: how to be with someone who is suffering when you don't have any answers.

I think that intuition, or mom-tuition as we call it, is innate, but it's also cultivated. And you've passed on from your mom what she received from her mom, what she received from her mom, and back so many generations of strong and wise women that it's almost dizzying to think about.

Earlier today, you had climbed up on a high ladder to look at a light bulb. You said,"You guys make me feel brave and strong and safe." It was funny to me, because that's how you make us feel too.

I was going to write in you card, but I just didn't have enough room. I know we usually keep things funny when we give cards in this family, so let me also share that when I am about to "Wicks" someone, you are also there, in the pranking. (Even when it's you who are getting pranked.) Or when I am somewhere and I realize that it is a special and spectacular moment, and no one is photographing it, so I step up. Or when I realize that I really need to eat a bowl of cereal for lunch.

Maybe sometime we can print this, and stick it in the card. Until then. happy mother's day, and let's go throw an egg at Ralph.