How to go shopping for clothes postpartum

1. Wear your maternity clothes, leggings and a handful of flowy tops for many months - ten in my case. You lose weight, gain weight, lose it. Your belly dramatically changes shape several times, each fluctuation meaning that some maternity pants or leggings fit or don’t. Wonder if you should do a diet or something to fit in your old clothes. 
2. Start an exercise program that emphasizes functional movement over appearance. Feel your strength grow.
3. Reject the concept of good and bad foods in favor of intuitive eating. Pause and ask yourself “what do I want to eat?” And then eat it in whatever quantity your body requests. Yes, even if it’s nothing but pumpkin bars for 3 meals in a row. Practice trusting yourself. Release the idea of shoulds.
4. Read a post shared by a friend reminding you that “Pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in the world as a woman”. Tattoo it in your mind. 
   
5. Talk at length with you husband one night about how hard we all are on ourselves when we are a photo of ourselves that we don’t like. Everyone else sees us with our hair like that, with that in-between face, the way the lines appear around our mouths when we smile. And they love or like us and think we look fine/ great/ normal. But we limit ourselves to a specific look, with our hair just so, and only a handful of facial expressions that we deem acceptable. Why are we so hard on ourselves?
6. Pause one day in the middle/end of a workout. Remember what your body has done, what unbelievable feats she has accomplished. Revel in them. For me, this meant overcoming a major back injury, growing, birthing, and feeding two children all within 4 years. I am filled with awe and I rest my hands lightly on my stomach in appreciation. Your body might not have done any of those things in the past four years, but I am confident that it has done some other amazing things. 
7. Fill your mind with articles questioning why “attractive” for a woman means enduring discomfort and pain (tight pants, high heels) whereas men can be attractive in comfortable clothes. 
8. Watch YouTube videos of a mom a similar size as you trying on clothes and looking amazing. 
9. Realize you are tired of wearing too-small leggings and maternity pants. Budget money for clothes. Decide it is high-priority.  
10. Go to store feeling excited to buy things that actually fit your perfect body as it is now. Perfect because it is your body and you don’t owe it to anyone to have it look any certain way. 
    
11. Rules: shop curiously. What size fits me? What feels comfortable? What style do I like? 
12. Remember that if your body has always been a certain size and is now different, your mind possibly hasn’t made that leap. My eyes gravitate towards things that would have fit me before having kids. Things that actually fit me look enormous. That’s okay. I haven’t been pants shopping in a long time. My memory is very good and is trying to help me by recalling what we did last time. I take it as a starting point and go up several sizes. 
13. Jeans are the hardest for me, so I start there. I fill my cart with pair after pair. I let up and move to something easier- athletic clothes, and then to something easier - pajamas, and then the easiest - shoes. I want to yell to all the women around me “BEING PRETTY IS NOT THE RENT YOU PAY FOR EXISTING IN THE WORLD.” We need more of that message in our lives. 
14. I try on nearly 40 things. I notice tags that say things like “Lifts and sculpts your assets”. I wish they knew that the tag that would get my attention is “These pants are comfortable and not too tight anywhere.” 
15. I actively remain curious and suspend judgement. I am full of only admiration for my strong body. I find several high-waisted pairs of pants that fit and are comfortable. I’ve wanted to wear this style for a while now but was certain that my body type wasn’t "right" for it. Guess what? I don’t care any more. I will wear it because it makes me feel comfortable and happy. I find a pair of sweatpants that look so big they might belong to Caleb. They are my size. I add them to my “keep” pile.
16. Checkout with your new clothes. Wear them and feel AMAZING. And comfortable.