Last fall, I read the C.S. Lewis space trilogy. It was awesome. In the last book, the main character is discussing mice.
[Paraphrasing what I remember the quote to be.] "The relationship between man and mouse was not meant to be strained. In fact, it is quite natural. Humans make crumbs, mice clean up crumbs. At this, he sounded a bell, and several mice came out of the walls and cleaned up the crumbs from his biscuit. He sounded the bell again and they all went back into the wall."
Shortly after this, we had a mice invasion in our house. I, who like to live peaceably with all beings, was very conflicted. Could I train our mice to just come out and clean up crumbs? That would be AWESOME. No more vacuuming! But no. We set the normal traps that go "whack" and I put peppermint oil everywhere. And we filled up hole after hole with steel wool and expanding foam. Eventually we went a week with no mice. Then two. Then two months. Then they were gone.
Almost. Cue story time:
Scene: 4:30 a.m. Our bed. Last week.
Mouse (Intonation: this is the best night of my life.): SQUEAK, SQUEEEEEAAK! SQUEAKITY SQUEAK SQUEEEEEAK! WOO!
Caleb: *sits straight up and leaps out of bed*
Ellen: *puts fingers in ears* (to self) this is not happening. LA LA LA LA that was not a mouse. we don't have mice. they are all living happy mouse lives outside. not in here. I am sleeping. (repeat.)
Caleb: *frantic trap setting*
Scene: Kitchen. A few days later. E & C are washing dishes and cleaning.
Ellen: Hey Caleb, is this mouse poop?
Caleb: Hm.
Ellen: Actually, whatever you think it is, please tell me that it's not. Okay?
Caleb: No, I think this is just crumbs. But hey! Let's wash this really well because it's dirty.
Scene: Kitchen. This weekend
Caleb: Hey, our peanut butter is really runny for baiting mouse traps.
Ellen: The mice don't need organic peanut butter. They have the pasteurized cheese product I bought them last fall.
I heard a rumor recently about the Dalai Lama. I don't know if it's true, but it's a good story. And as our traps continue to send mice to another place, it's comforting to me.
The Dalai Lama was visiting Minneapolis in the summer. You know about the mosquitos there right? HUGE. As he gave his talk outdoors, he suddenly stopped and slapped his arm. "Happy reincarnation," he said.
So to you mice, happy re-incarnation. Maybe next round, you can be a cat. They have nine lives. Winning.
[Paraphrasing what I remember the quote to be.] "The relationship between man and mouse was not meant to be strained. In fact, it is quite natural. Humans make crumbs, mice clean up crumbs. At this, he sounded a bell, and several mice came out of the walls and cleaned up the crumbs from his biscuit. He sounded the bell again and they all went back into the wall."
Shortly after this, we had a mice invasion in our house. I, who like to live peaceably with all beings, was very conflicted. Could I train our mice to just come out and clean up crumbs? That would be AWESOME. No more vacuuming! But no. We set the normal traps that go "whack" and I put peppermint oil everywhere. And we filled up hole after hole with steel wool and expanding foam. Eventually we went a week with no mice. Then two. Then two months. Then they were gone.
Almost. Cue story time:
Scene: 4:30 a.m. Our bed. Last week.
Mouse (Intonation: this is the best night of my life.): SQUEAK, SQUEEEEEAAK! SQUEAKITY SQUEAK SQUEEEEEAK! WOO!
Caleb: *sits straight up and leaps out of bed*
Ellen: *puts fingers in ears* (to self) this is not happening. LA LA LA LA that was not a mouse. we don't have mice. they are all living happy mouse lives outside. not in here. I am sleeping. (repeat.)
Caleb: *frantic trap setting*
Scene: Kitchen. A few days later. E & C are washing dishes and cleaning.
Ellen: Hey Caleb, is this mouse poop?
Caleb: Hm.
Ellen: Actually, whatever you think it is, please tell me that it's not. Okay?
Caleb: No, I think this is just crumbs. But hey! Let's wash this really well because it's dirty.
Scene: Kitchen. This weekend
Caleb: Hey, our peanut butter is really runny for baiting mouse traps.
Ellen: The mice don't need organic peanut butter. They have the pasteurized cheese product I bought them last fall.
I heard a rumor recently about the Dalai Lama. I don't know if it's true, but it's a good story. And as our traps continue to send mice to another place, it's comforting to me.
The Dalai Lama was visiting Minneapolis in the summer. You know about the mosquitos there right? HUGE. As he gave his talk outdoors, he suddenly stopped and slapped his arm. "Happy reincarnation," he said.
So to you mice, happy re-incarnation. Maybe next round, you can be a cat. They have nine lives. Winning.
Right now we are fighting crickets. We have only had one mouse in the 4 years we've lived in this home, and it most definitely got whacked. And those darn crickets? They will be bug-bombed soon [we kill at least 5 a day. It's ridiculous]. You have a more tender heart than mine :) Also- I saw thistles on my walk the other day and thought of you. Also, we had a stray strand of marijuana in our front landscaping. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteHa! The stray strand... that's pretty funny. I'm glad you have only had one mouse. We have had many, and I'm not entirely certain they ever left our basement. (Which was fine with me. This is a big house. They can live there as long as they don't EVER appear when I'm there or eat my things.) and YAY thistle. They are normally all dead with the heat by now, but this year they keep hanging on!
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