On keeping vigil

From August 14, 2017:

Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what time it is. "I can't believe he hasn't woken up yet," I think to myself. As if he just heard my thought, the baby monitor begins to chirp with his noises. If it is Caleb's turn, I will nudge him awake, but I often only wake up for my turns.

I can tell right away how long I will be up. If I wake up to sad cries, I know he will fall back asleep as soon as his tummy is full and his diaper is dry. But when I hear happy cooing, I know we are in for a a while. He is fully awake, feels rested, and is ready to play.

A while back, the weekend was a doozy. And so, when I woke up to giggles Saturday night and Sunday night, I made my way to his room with some resignation. But both nights, we kept vigil together. We prayed for peace, mercy, judgment, and repentance. We prayed with unspoken words (both of us) and deep exhaustion (me). I prayed for guidance on how to parent in times of such extreme polarization.

Some people believe that you have to teach children who God is. I believe that children already know, and that their knowledge is so pure. I wonder if God keeps vigil in the world through her tiniest assistants.

I will try to keep my eyes open to see it.