I wrote this last year while I was pregnant, but for a number of reasons, decided not to share my pregnancy online.
August 21, 2016
Who, being in the form of God
did not count what he had
as something to be grasped...
but he emptied himself
he took the form of slave
becoming as we are
becoming as we are
And being in every way like a human being
in every way like you and me -
he was humbler yet.
These are words based on Philippians 2:7 from a song we sing at church called "Kenosis hymn." I hear in them an invitation to release my own agenda and priorities, to open up and let God's energy flow through me rather than balling up my fists and trying to control it.
It struck me a lot today that this release is something I've been... what is the word?... wrestling with this whole pregnancy.
Pregnancy is opening up your body in a very physical, emotional, and spiritual way to the real needs of another person living inside you. No longer is your body just available to serve you. Hunger changes. Cravings happen. Sleep needs change. Emotions are all over the place. Things that were familiar before become unfamiliar. I used to know how much to eat every day, how much I could eat if there was a lot of delicious food available, and then how long it would take me after that to go back to my normal hunger levels.
This is the most real way I have ever been asked to empty myself and my own desires to serve someone else. I desire wine? Too bad. I want to stay up and get that project done? Not going to happen. My cravings are bizarre, my clothes don't fit. And the only way forward is to embrace it, to release into it. To acknowledge the privilege I have in hosting this small person that I do not yet know inside me. It is a radical hospitality that demands much... it will demand almost everything. And in its own small way, I hope and know that it is serving God somehow. Because when we open up ourselves to the stranger, we open ourselves up to Jesus.
August 21, 2016
Who, being in the form of God
did not count what he had
as something to be grasped...
but he emptied himself
he took the form of slave
becoming as we are
becoming as we are
And being in every way like a human being
in every way like you and me -
he was humbler yet.
These are words based on Philippians 2:7 from a song we sing at church called "Kenosis hymn." I hear in them an invitation to release my own agenda and priorities, to open up and let God's energy flow through me rather than balling up my fists and trying to control it.
It struck me a lot today that this release is something I've been... what is the word?... wrestling with this whole pregnancy.
Pregnancy is opening up your body in a very physical, emotional, and spiritual way to the real needs of another person living inside you. No longer is your body just available to serve you. Hunger changes. Cravings happen. Sleep needs change. Emotions are all over the place. Things that were familiar before become unfamiliar. I used to know how much to eat every day, how much I could eat if there was a lot of delicious food available, and then how long it would take me after that to go back to my normal hunger levels.
This is the most real way I have ever been asked to empty myself and my own desires to serve someone else. I desire wine? Too bad. I want to stay up and get that project done? Not going to happen. My cravings are bizarre, my clothes don't fit. And the only way forward is to embrace it, to release into it. To acknowledge the privilege I have in hosting this small person that I do not yet know inside me. It is a radical hospitality that demands much... it will demand almost everything. And in its own small way, I hope and know that it is serving God somehow. Because when we open up ourselves to the stranger, we open ourselves up to Jesus.
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