[post from July 2012]
The United States is a great country. I don't ever make the claim that anything is the "best" (this even includes never picking a "best friend" my entire life), but we have a phenomenal amount of diversity in this country. We have deserts and forests and plains and mountains and rivers and oceans and bays and seafood and top technology access and running water and electricity.We are in the middle of a DROUGHT in the midwest and yesterday the water companies said "We don't have a water shortage, just problems with the pipes handling the demand."
We also have an unfathomable (to me) amount of debt, lots of pollution and waste, startlingly clear lines children who go to schools so underfunded and worn down that you can pretty much write their report card when they first walk in the door.
Clearly, we've got some problems. I haven't even talked about hunger, poverty, homelessness, and joblessness.
But wait. Isn't this country also extremely educated, talented, and creative? We have all these problems, but we have so many resources.
Here's the problem. I will illustrate with a story:
The mayor was on the radio. I personally like the mayor. I think the mayor is very competent and has great ideas and is not too fiery. I think it must be a huge asset to remain cool when you are involved in politics. I am happy to have the mayor in charge of my city. So the mayor was on the radio and a woman called in with some concerns.
She was trying so hard to be respectful of the mayor and how he had said that his number one priority was education. But the emotion kept creeping into her voice as she asked him what, exactly, our taxes were paying for with sky-high water bills and not exactly awesome schools.
The mayor (kudos Mayor) kept calm and must have heard the fear in her voice. He tried to assure her that it was hard to pick only one priority to be "number one" and that in no way negates the importance of education. He continued, but I was so struck by how well this illustrates the problem of conflict resolution that I don't remember everything else that was said.
We are scared and our fear makes it really hard to work together. We're scared because we're tired, we're in debt, it feels like no one cares, and our tummies kind of hurt. We feel excluded, not safe, and polarized. No wonder it's so hard to work together.
We've all experienced fear. It's crazy the way it fires up our insides and keeps us from thinking straight. Have you ever been on the outside of a conversation like the one I heard on the radio? Fear kept this woman from being able to understand the mayor. It was paralyzing.
When we can't put ourselves in the place of someone else, it makes resolving the conflict next to impossible. Both parties must be able to turn from confronting the other to standing next to them. And until that happens, polarizing fear will keep us apart.
Let's stand next to someone today in love, this week, instead of standing across from them in fear.
The United States is a great country. I don't ever make the claim that anything is the "best" (this even includes never picking a "best friend" my entire life), but we have a phenomenal amount of diversity in this country. We have deserts and forests and plains and mountains and rivers and oceans and bays and seafood and top technology access and running water and electricity.We are in the middle of a DROUGHT in the midwest and yesterday the water companies said "We don't have a water shortage, just problems with the pipes handling the demand."
We also have an unfathomable (to me) amount of debt, lots of pollution and waste, startlingly clear lines children who go to schools so underfunded and worn down that you can pretty much write their report card when they first walk in the door.
Clearly, we've got some problems. I haven't even talked about hunger, poverty, homelessness, and joblessness.
But wait. Isn't this country also extremely educated, talented, and creative? We have all these problems, but we have so many resources.
Here's the problem. I will illustrate with a story:
The mayor was on the radio. I personally like the mayor. I think the mayor is very competent and has great ideas and is not too fiery. I think it must be a huge asset to remain cool when you are involved in politics. I am happy to have the mayor in charge of my city. So the mayor was on the radio and a woman called in with some concerns.
She was trying so hard to be respectful of the mayor and how he had said that his number one priority was education. But the emotion kept creeping into her voice as she asked him what, exactly, our taxes were paying for with sky-high water bills and not exactly awesome schools.
The mayor (kudos Mayor) kept calm and must have heard the fear in her voice. He tried to assure her that it was hard to pick only one priority to be "number one" and that in no way negates the importance of education. He continued, but I was so struck by how well this illustrates the problem of conflict resolution that I don't remember everything else that was said.
We are scared and our fear makes it really hard to work together. We're scared because we're tired, we're in debt, it feels like no one cares, and our tummies kind of hurt. We feel excluded, not safe, and polarized. No wonder it's so hard to work together.
We've all experienced fear. It's crazy the way it fires up our insides and keeps us from thinking straight. Have you ever been on the outside of a conversation like the one I heard on the radio? Fear kept this woman from being able to understand the mayor. It was paralyzing.
When we can't put ourselves in the place of someone else, it makes resolving the conflict next to impossible. Both parties must be able to turn from confronting the other to standing next to them. And until that happens, polarizing fear will keep us apart.
Let's stand next to someone today in love, this week, instead of standing across from them in fear.
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